Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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