How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
