So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
