i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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