i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
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Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
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Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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