arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
