you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
