I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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