Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
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8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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