New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
