you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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