We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
