Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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