I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
