I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
