Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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