So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize