pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
