it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
