The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
