Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
