where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
