Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
