Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
