hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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