god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
