There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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