I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
