I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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