you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
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