hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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