I must be too annoying 4 u.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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