You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
