I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
