Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
FUCK WHALES
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
