do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
