U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
