The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
