$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Screwed.edu
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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