after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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