Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Randomize
