This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
