why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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