Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Two words: nipple clamps
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