Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
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