Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
