obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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