we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
