If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
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Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
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Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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