I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
