i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
