hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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