And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
