How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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