Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize