Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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