just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
