i just wanna soil my oats bro
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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