The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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