Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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