her vagina looked like bernie madoff
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
