need another drink. this is the easiest way
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
someone get that fucking seahorse.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
